It's the one thing I promised I'd never do.

But I did it anyway.

I don't think you can blame me, it's not like I went out of my way to hurt you.

We weren't right anyway, we were fighting...unhappy. If it didn't work out, well it's not my fault or yours, it just wasn't right.

I mean, just think back. We'd been having...well, you can't really call them fights, but awkward discussions, I guess, for weeks now, neither of us felt completely right about it...then that night at my house, well we finally sat down and talked it out.

I told you that maybe it'd been a mistake from the beginning, that neither of us had been ready. You agreed. You agreed, remember? We both cried, we hugged, you got up to leave and said you'd see me around.

Now, I did call you when you got back to your car and we talked for another little bit...I think I may have said something about ...well, about not wanting this to be the end, and that we should not call it a break up yet, just say we're taking a step back? Like to work on things? I think I said I didn't want it to be so final so suddenly, and you agreed with that too...I don't really remember, I think I was just emotional.

Anyway, one thing I do remember about that phone call is that you told me you didn't care if anything happened that night, that you'd understand, and that I didn't owe you anything. In response, I promised again that I'd never do that to you.

But like I said, I was emotional.

You went home, I went to my party. I was hurt and vulnerable...I was surrounded by friends, and I was drinking. There was one friend in particular there who I'd been looking at as more than a friend for a little while now...and that night was the night that everything just kind of happened.

I don't even remember, much... of how it started or why it happened. I never meant to hurt you. You know that. But it was late, I was lonely, we were drunk... and suddenly we went from friends to two people finding comfort in each other's embrace. I'll spare you the details...I don't imagine that's something you'd want to hear...but I will tell you that we kissed.

The next morning, I felt terrible at first. You remember how broken up I was about it when I told you later that day...I did the right thing by telling you...I hoped you'd be angry, and that it might help you get over me...it would have been easier.

But it's been a while now, and I know you are mad at me, you're just keeping it inside, doing your passive aggressive crap rather than just confronting me or getting over it. Honestly, get over it. I did. Move on. It'll be easier that way. I can understand you being upset at what happened, but really, how can you call this my fault? It just happened, you know all about that...don't you?

I promised I'd never do what I did. But I never told you I loved you. I don't think that I lied. Y'see, if I'd told you I'd loved you, then that would obviously be a lie, since you wouldn't do that to someone you loved. But the promise not to do what I did was nullified when you let me go. You said it was ok, so you cannot blame me.

I'm sorry that you're hurt by this, but you need to get over it.

You need to get over it.