I overthink, therefore I overblog...

I want to make a blog, my myspace account is blocked. Here is the location that I have chosen to get my blog fixed now that myspace is inaccessible from my place of work. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before the powers that be notice our entire office's bandwidth being sucked up by my new outlet for interweb literary exploits, but until that time, this will do.

A lot of the time, there's stuff going through my head, and I want to talk to someone about it. Until recently, I never talked to anyone about anything. That's changed recently mostly because it had to, or I might have gone postal. Even now, there's times when I feel like I need to communicate, and I don't feel like there's anyone I can talk to. At these times, when I'm overthinking and stressing, I blog. Typing out my thoughts often has the same therapeutic effect for me that venting to a close friend can have, though I am seldom as honest with myself as I probably should be. I also feel as though, even if no one is there listening to what I say immediately, I know that there are people out there who care and who will read it eventually, so I still feel like I'm talking to someone.

Guess what, I made a new song. You should be listening to it by now unless it didn't load properly... It's a total ripoff of an Iron & Wine song called "Faded from the Winter". And by ripoff, I mean, I stole the notes and chord progression from his verse for my verse, but the picking pattern and position on the fretboard are both different, and my chorus chords are different too, so huzzah. I did mention that I'm incapable of original thought right? All I can do is poorly copy other people's work. Most times I don't even realize I'm doing it, and usually I draw from enough and varied sources that you can't tell it's a carbon copy of someone else's work.

Oh, by the way, in this song, I ripoff his (Sam Beam of Iron & Wine) guitar tone and vocalization technique. Which basically means I finger-picked and whisper-sang. Also, the words are just stuff that was going through my head that day, I actually really did fall asleep at work...I'm sure the sleeping and falling down are metaphors for something but I'm honestly not sure what. The harmonies are lacking and the mix is terrible, you'll need to turn up your speakers, and just this once, it actually doesn't sound better in headphones, but whatever. Take it for what it's worth, which isn't much, but at least I'm showing it to people, I've got four or five that I don't want to even put up here.



I guess I'll put the lyrics up here, cuz some of it's kind of hard to understand...I don't annunciate well.



***

At work I fell asleep
And dreamt I was at home
It was...Beautiful

And last night in my sleep
I dreamt you were here with me
You were so...Beautiful

I...fell asleep
Won't you wake me up?
I...fell down
Won't you pick me up?

Sitting all alone
Staring at the phone
Waiting for your call...

What if you don't come?
What if you don't care...
At all?

I...fell asleep
Won't you wake me up?
You...fell down
I can't pick you up...

You came by after all
You built me up so I could
Take the fall...

But tonight as I sleep
I'll dream you're here with me
It'll be...Beautiful...

I...fell asleep
Please don't wake me up
'Cuz in my dreams
I can still feel loved.

I...fell down
Please don't pick me up
'Cuz if I lay here, on this cold ground
I'll never have to fall

Last night in my sleep
I dreamt you were here with me
You were so...Beautiful...


***

There you have it. I think I could probably go on for a significantly longer time than I have as of yet, but I don't think it's advisable for several reasons, not the least of which is that most people probably skipped the majority of this blog as is. I don't blame you for that by the way, it's way too long and whiny.

In closing, I think it'd be a good idea to mention that I MIGHT be thinking about leaving myspace for this site instead. Now, it lacks some features I like a great deal, including blog subscriptions, picture pages, friends, and profile page comments, but I can't access myspace at work anymore, and there's a lot of weirdos on there anyway. You can leave comments on blogs on this site, just like myspace, and I don't mind people e-mailing me instead of using the myspace message system, it's practically the same, especially if you have a web-based e-mail provider, like gmail. While this site lacks most of the social networking features of myspace, I do prefer the blog editing and management interface. Maybe I'll do a mix and match thing...although that doesn't really fix my lack of access to myspace for forty hours a week, and at work is when I usually need to "space" out (haha, see what I did there? little pun...) the most. 8 hours in a cubicle without any interaction with someone other than my coworkers can be....stifling...

Anyway, thanks everyone very much for reading, I appreciate it, and hey, even if you don't read or comment, I still think you did, so I feel better either way. Hooray for me.

loren